Interview by Ashna Chaturvedi
Whichever corner of the globe you’re on, chances are that you’ve noticed a shift in attention towards healthcare workers. Whether it be the unveiling of a 20 ft statue in Latvia or the banging of pots and pans across balconies in Spain and Italy, people from all over the world have come together to show their support and appreciation for these frontline workers.
But amidst a global pandemic when people are avoiding hospitals more than ever before and the constant likening of doctors to heroes makes us forget that they too are human, what is it really like being one of the key front-line workers?
Eager to hear about the experiences of a doctor, I reached out to Intensivist Dr. Kalpana Reddy who kindly agreed to share some of her thoughts and feelings through a zoom interview. A Consultant in critical care and respective head of department at Mediclinic, Dubai, Dr. Kalpana regularly works to stabilise extremely sick patients in the ICU. (Intensive Care Unit)
“Being a doctor, in general, can be stressful, because of the many responsibilities, but now that there is a pandemic raging, how much more stressful are you finding it?”
“I actually didn’t feel stressed at all. In fact, I was so excited to do this, because this was the first time, I’ve been a part of a pandemic. It’s a totally new disease and we were learning more about the disease patient by patient. It’s nothing like what we’ve seen with Influenza or SARS... This disease was totally different and presented differently in different patients. Although it was busy, I was never stressed as a physician. I just loved it...really really loved it.”
“That’s so remarkable, considering that you’re away from your family, but don’t you ever worry that you yourself are going to get the virus? Or that your loved ones are going to be affected?”
“Never. I was never worried about myself, but I was definitely worried that my family was going to be affected because of me. So, over the past two months, I’ve been mainly in Dubai as I was on call, but approximately once in 2 weeks, I would get to go home to Abu Dhabi. Even then, I maintained social distancing with family and stayed away from them. I was more worried about my children, my family, and my staff. I didn’t want my staff affected for many reasons. Of course, the first reason being, because of their health issues. Also, the virus is highly contagious so we would lose many people in the team if one member of staff got sick.”
“You see so very sick patients every day, are there ever any moments when you find it difficult to keep calm? What are the emotional challenges you face?”
“Every day. Everyday. It’s very hard because most of our patients are very very sick and we have to be extremely vigilant because things change very rapidly in the ICU. We anticipate changes and be prepared for what could happen with a patient. Despite this, we do lose patients, unfortunately...we are not God and we cannot save everybody. I have lost very young COVID patients which was really sad. We do breakdown. We cry when we lose patients (but not in front of the family of course) It really does affect us. Sometimes we don’t sleep because you keep thinking about what you could have done to prevent it. And sometimes, you really couldn’t have done anything. It’s just the way things are. But things happen, and you just have to be prepared for that.
Another aspect of this role is counselling family members who are distressed and scared. Every day, every few hours we meet with them because almost all patients are in an unresponsive state. Sometimes it can be very hard to communicate because we need to tell them the bad news, and this is emotionally challenging.”
“Do you feel like enough mental health support is being given to doctors and nurses?”
“One of the good things that we do is debriefings, and these happen when we have a patient who is young and dies. All the staff involved in care go through the case and counsel each other. It is a very effective way of supporting each other and dealing with stress, particularly within the ICU setting. If you look at the literature, working in the ICU is one of the most stressful jobs. These patients are dying and you’re essentially doing interventions to save their lives. You have to be sharp and awake. You cannot afford to fall asleep. Mental health issues are quite significant in this field. In fact, there have been suggestions that the stress takes such a toll on the body that doctors who work in the ICU tend to die earlier. I personally find sitting down and talking to colleagues helpful. For example, day after tomorrow we’re having a counselling meeting with a psychiatrist because we lost a young patient who was under our care for a month before he passed away. He was responsive most of the time and would talk to us about his life and his family. We got to know him better, and we were very traumatised when he died.
In terms of whether more needs to be done to support healthcare workers with mental health, I absolutely think that more should be done. However, it requires a lot of time and investment and not all hospitals may have the resources or facilities for that. Some countries prioritise it more than others.”
“As cases start to decrease and the country starts to open up again, if you could say one thing to the public what would it be?”
“Stay vigilant. Maintain the hygiene and keep washing the hands. I’m not sure if social distancing will be a practical long-term measure...”
“Any final words about how you feel about this pandemic?”
“I’ve been so humbled and am so grateful to be a part of something like this. I’m grateful to be able to do what I could do. What’s really struck me is how everyone came together during these unprecedented times when resources and hospitals are overwhelmed. We’ve got people who have never looked after extremely sick patients coming into the ICU to help without any hesitation. Doctors and nurses from different departments who have never looked after a patient on a life support machine all stepped up to help without any hesitation. When there is trouble, everyone comes together. I’m really really thankful to everyone who has supported our department during this pandemic. It’s the biggest thing I’ve learned from this.”
At the point of writing, Dr. Kalpana has now returned home to her family in Abu Dhabi on a 10-day break before she will go back to Dubai to complete her next shift.
Edited by: Noelle Darts and Ashna Chaturvedi
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